Look Pretty and avoid Negativity

Hello loves!

Here we go again with a 2 in 1 post. We will see the last of the Victoria Secret x Balmain Collection and I am going to talk about avoiding negative people and their negative behavior. If you have been following me for a while (on the last blog) – this used to be the fave talk. I was contacted by alot of readers who shared their experiences and stories. I am not sure how but I have somehow broken the spell of mean off me and I will be sharing my thoughts on that today.

If you are a kind and polite individual who believes in being the bigger person, you are by now probably tired of running into folks who throw negativity at you, no matter how cheerful you are with them. I personally feel nice people fuel the fire in the negative people – hence the negative people flock to nice people, like bees to honey. One thing we all need to remember is that what comes out of their mouth isn’t the truth, they basically are working really hard to find flaws and faults in you to somehow make themselves feel better. Their foul mouth or negativity is a product of their own insecurities.

It is not easy to not get upset and get caught up in the vicious cycle of where did you go wrong, or sometimes even comprehend the reasoning why will someone so outgoingly hate you. There are some who will find flaws in you, point them out in a group setting and laugh about them. I firmly believe those are the worse ones. Then there are the ones who use silence or passive aggressive behavior. So what can we do to keep ourselves grounded and not get bogged down?

Well first tell yourself that you will never stoop to their level and feed into their negativity. There is no need to do to them what they do to you. Then instead of focusing on why? focus on feeling sad for them. Hope that someday whatever is causing for them to act this way will work it out. Continue being the smart, intelligent and kind person you are. Surround yourself with positive folks. And make sure to distance yourself from these negative individuals. You really don’t owe them anything. You don’t have to resolve this puzzle. Let your positive energy set an example of who you really are. Try to remind yourself that every human in this world has flaws as well as special qualities. No two of us are alike and we all have skills that are required by folks around us – at our jobs, in our family and among our friends. Them treating you as less than doesn’t mean those skills and qualities diminish.

The one thought that helped me was looking at the negative individuals interaction with other people. They seem to have friends! People who actually like them – so clearly alot of people in the world can see past flaw? So why won’t people see past your flaws? You seem like a sweet well rounded individual? Your panic about being disliked based on ONE person’s opinion is just in your head. Imagine if someone came to you and you saw them talk shit about a person who has never wronged you? Would you start hating the person just on someone else’s world? And trust me whoever tends to fall into that sort of pack mentality, you don’t need them in your life anyway. Chalk them out of it too.

Now when I say chalk these people out, doesn’t mean you have to be cold and rude to them. No continue to smile and say hello to them if needed, if they behave well. But keep your contact with them to bare minimum. As long as you continue being the bigger person you will continue sleeping happy at night.

For those of you who are empaths like me (empathic individual) we are always ready to console, problem solve and coddle such individuals. We want to mend all relationships because we feel emotions alot more strongly than most humans. But remind yourself, not every problem in the world is your problem. Once again I have been trying to remind myself and everyone else around me the demand and supply formula. Things that are low in supply are high in demand and should not be handed out freely. Kindness is hard to find. Don’t hand it to folks who don’t deserve it. I am not expecting you to once again be rude. BUT no need to do kind gestures or fix someone’s problem if they aren’t a nice individual. Use that kindness on someone who deserve it. The best way to proceed with this principle is: When you meet someone new, be polite, be nice and kind. If you notice they are not returning the respect – simply stop giving!

Don’t run your well dry feeding someone who is just there to mooch off of you and anyone who will give them something to feed off.

On that note onto the outfit. The top is Victoria Secret x Balmain Collection. It is much longer and loser even in the xsmall size. There I went ahead and noted it in the back to give it a more fitted look. The top is pretty versatile, you can always pair it with leather leggings and knee high boots and it will make a statement piece at the office with a black blazer and pencil skirt.